talent time quarter finals yesterday.. wanted to update..
was very excited and all.. Caleb's with me and everything.. he's given me the assurance after he heard me sing for the first time that i'll get into the semi.. ya.. so we were sitting in LT 1 commenting the people and all juz like how i would do with suying.. ha.. then it was my turn.. rats.. awful.. i tawt it was horribly horrible.. argh.. grr..
blessed by Father; wHeE
Thursday, April 15, 2004
ooh.. havent blogged for a long time.. hee..
hmm.. yesterday went for kids' trail meeting.. I was awfully late.. i'm glad i informed ya ling and apologised.. very interesting working with people like Michael Yong (he's been in yfc for 24 years which is equal to ya ling's age haha m i allowed to reveal this? haha).. he's very very experience.. hee.. very amazing and wonderful.. and bcos of this meeting, or in fact even b4 this mtg, i'm very thankful for my primary school years abt how i come into acquaintance with God and all that.. i tried to help by sharing my experience.. hmm.. hope i'll be humble and not fall.. n i need stamina to walk thru this.. kids' trail will like only happen next year and we hv half a year of planning, publicity and everything that we need to do.. ya.. and i'm very very thankful for having such a wonderful and sweet committee members like ya ling and yeu pei... yesterday yeu pei and i went to city link and we chatted.. thank God for the chat.. cos i managed to try to share how i feel abt some things in the ministry.. it's difficult for me at times to struggle to get the right words out.. and i am very touched, cos Yeu Pei offered to pray with me everytime aft church abt the problem and struggle that i have.. she also helped a lot.. helped me to learn the need to always pray and talk to God.. it gets very scary for me looking at the work load i hv.. i kinda always tell myself God is trainin me and all sorts of things, hee, but i always doubt and get worried.. and it's bcos the things i'm handling concerns human lives.. if i dun do things well, i'll be fully responsible for tt..
ya.. rather ill-disciplined this few days.. i dun understand, i have so many things to do yet i still can be so ill-disciplined.. hmm... i play too much le.. muz hv more self-control.. and muz rmb to move out of my comfort zone.. hee..
i joined talentime.. submitted the form and the list is out.. there's a J1 gal who's singing the same song as me.. hee.. very stressed la.. very scared.. not say i dun hv confidence but i duno wad will happen.. i need support seriously.. it's without Pemers... argh.. last time in kranji stil have ting n ying for the teachers' day concert.. now.. hee.. very scared i'll screw up.. gotta rmb tt i'm juz joinin for fun.. hee... haha..
haiz.. got loads of things to post but cant rmb.. i'm getting old.. ya, ppl pls pray for me.. i hope God can lengthen my memory or something cos i keep forgetting things.. and worst of all, if something bad happened to me and i need to rmb the lesson, i'll juz forget the important parts about the incident..
Have mercy on me.. Thank You God..
blessed by Father; wHeE
Monday, April 05, 2004
oh ya.. i forgot to add something.. april fool's day (or is it april fool day? april's fool's day? april's fool day?).. great day for me.. my class actually ganged up and tricked me!! i so naively believed dem.. sob sob.. how can they cheat me of my feelings.. sob sob.. haha..
anyway, i din go to school.. so wei qi sent me a msg saying 'what happened to you? the principal was looking for you just now, and he looked serious, urgent" so i asked when and she said during GP lesson in the morning.. haha.. i was hoping and guessing if it was a joke forgetting tt i was a.f day.. rats.. so i tried not to show i was scared.. after wasting so many msg, wei qi sent a msg and said "haha, april fool.." i was like ?!!! how dare they trick me!! nvm.. it was ENJOYABLE day..
this morning, wei qi and huixian hv 2 free period and it's b4 break, so we asked her to help us get food first.. then they decided to tease me again.. baddies.. they were like saying 'did u notice there's extra luncheon meat on your bee hoon?" make a guess make a guess!! goodness.. i really had no sense of humour juz now.. i was tinkin mayb they had leftover from other ppl's food so put on my plate? so they were making all the possible idiotic links.. nvtheless, it was bcos they dropped two pieces on the floor while carrying the plates of bee hoon (2 of dem had to carry 6 plates) to the benches so they bought another one to make it look nicer.. haha.. i was so bad.. to think i m so 'xiao qi' i rmb how they tricked me on a.f day n v upset tt they say they are attempting it today.. ha..
blessed by Father; wHeE
i see alot of things before me, involved in a national project for kids!!, an event in june for 100 people (roughly there la), two tests coming up next week, gotta tie up things by next friday so that can start publicity for june's event (so exciting).. zis is real happening.. but.. i know.. i know there is a possibility tt i rely on my own strength to do things.. thus, my prayer is to remember to be humble, remember to consider others better than myself... i hope i can put what i hv learnt in Philippians into practice.. hmm.. gotta pray for stamina as well!
it's exciting! PEM's birthday is coming!! 1st of May! what a good day!! haha.. stupid ting has a good suggestion tt is to invite ppl who know abt PEM to our bday party.. hhaa.. details will b out later hahaha... n Yu, i duno for the rest, i hope u can join us in the discussion n preparation of PEM's bday.. sheesh..
to pemers, when are we gonna do a recording of a whole CD of songs? haha..
blessed by Father; wHeE
Thursday, April 01, 2004
i found my long lost G-tec blue pen in sum secret corner of my house.. so happy..
muz b wondering wad am i doin here at this time of the day.. i din go to school.. i felt rather lethargic when i tried to wake up this mornin to finish my incomplete homework.. n i decided i needed rest and dere's still loads of things to do.. so i din go.. honestly, i'm not sure if this is an act of not trusting in God.. but anyway, i got my parents permission n all tt.. dun reali like not gg to sch cos gonna miss loads of gd lessons like econ tut and math lecture.. but cannot, today's cls ends at 5.25, by tt time, half my life will be gone.. haha..
things seems to be v upseting for mi since the time i chose to rebel.. i'm facing the consequence now.. i hope i don't sound like a pessimist cos i'm not pessimistic, i'm juz feeling sorrowful..
Verse of the day
"He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." -- Isaiah 53:5 and 6 NIV
tt's the verse of the day at biblegateway.com.. yesterday, while we were having our jc bs, bj was asking me y i hadnt hand in my bs hw.. this words from her are like a knife tt's stabbed on my already bleeding heart.. it pierced mi deeply.. hurting mi.. but this hurt is sth good i know.. who ask me to be so prideful.. ha.. i was talking to joy abt how i feel.. she commented tt i am a small girl with HUGE pride.. tt's funny n provoking or rather hurtful at the same time.. but it's true.. everything boils down to pride..
anyway, i'm glad i'm in this ministry.. in this place where people observe my growth n tells me the things i've done wrong.. wrong against God of course.. it hurts to know and understand that u have sinned against God.. i mean i'm supposed to know that everyday, but i guess.. i guess i take things for granted.. i guess i got proud and do things using my own capability.. i'm very glad that i have joy as my listener.. i told her i was very upset and scared.. i'm scared that when i get over this, i'll get into another round of this again.. i know it'll happen.. n i dun wana get over it.. i dun dare to.. after hearing from her, i realised tt there's no way of getting out except to move forward, to face up with what i have done wrong.. to thank God for His forgiveness, n forgive myself.. if the Lord has forgiven me, what right do i have to not forgive myself.. tt's where the verse comes in.. it's so right.. i juz wana say i'm so sorry to plague myself with iniquity.. i'm glad this happened.. it helped me realised how grateful i am for Christ's death on the cross.. otherwise i really cannot forgive myself.. hmm.. hee.. i'm feeling alot better after talkin to joy.. what i need now is the courage to stand up and forge forward.. what lies ahead seems to be very intimidating, fierce but i've gotta move on.. i'm reali scared i'll b hurt.. but i know dere'll b ppl cheerin me on.. i'm sure i dun wan to stay stagnant n cause ppl to worry abt me..
Revelation 1
17 When i saw Him, i fell at His feet like a dead man. And He placed His right hand on me, saying "Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last,
18 and the living One; and I was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of death and of Hades.
John falling as a dead man shows the ovewhelming presence of the Lord.. similarly, i'm overwhelmed by God's irresistable grace for me.. i felt so so like a sinner before Him... n so thankful that He loves me n forgives me..
Only by grace can we enter
Only by grace can we stand
Not by our human endeavour
but by the blood of the Lamb
Into Your presence You called us
You call us to come
Into Your presence You draw us
And now by Your grace we come
Now by Your grace we come
Lord, if You marked our transgressions
Who would stand
Thanks to Your grace we are cleansed
by the blood of the Lamb
Lord, if you marked our transgressions
Who would stand
Thanks to Your grace we are cleansed
by the blood of the Lamb
