sunseeet
Monday, October 29, 2007
In the midst of all these torturous studying, light appeared which makes it easier to move on. Thank God for the S/U revoking option. My CAP's going to be pulled up so much. Jia yous!
Chemistry is so fun. Argh.
blessed by Father; wHeE
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Engaging in Christian activity doesn't make you closer to God. Neither does going for Bible study frequently and regularly does.
Was spending time with God and realised that. Ultimately, we ourselves must come before Him and enjoy that union with Him. Thankfully the Lord prompted me and helped me rmb that I needed to depend on Him when I felt really stressed. How nice it is to read His word!
Psalm 119
102I have not turned aside from Your ordinances, For You Yourself have taught me.
103How sweet are Your words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
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Met up with Christine to do work yesterday. I was very amused by her!
1) When she asked me to meet, the sms went
Hey Geok, is your exams coming? Shall we study together? I promise I will not talk.
2) Dream
She was rather overwhelmed with the number of deaths that happened in her life. So she said,"I even dreamed that I was dead. I met God and ... I HAD NO TREASURE IN HEAVEN!"
I couldn't stop laughing.
3) Birthday
I shared with her my birthday plans. She went,"so cool. But... that's if you live till that day."
She's obsessed with dying. *rolls eyes
I don't see it as a curse though. Death usually strikes you at a time when you are unaware. She had this churchmate whose sister was only 25years old. She was doing certain things and then she went home and slept. And she never woke up.
It reminded me that I may leave anytime, or even people ard me may leave anytime, so I shouldn't take things for granted. But to continue giving thanks for every breath my God has given me to live and to serve Him.
Death is real. Beware.
blessed by Father; wHeE
Friday, October 12, 2007
it's good to unload things unto the Lord I guess. His burden and yoke is indeed lighter. I feel easier to walk when I unload as I reflect this whole wk. My perspective of things seems to be much better earlier in the week whn I resolve my thots in the day as compared to toward the end of the week. So I'm in the process of doing it now. Watch it, another LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGGG post await you.
Before i go, I shall share a joke. My lecturer came into the LT and told us he'd be giving back the test papers today. Just tuesday, he said "I haven't finish marking all the crap you've given me." All of us knew what kind of silly things we wrote in the paper out of desperatism. So we laughed. Today, he showed us what the crap was. One of the questions was: write out your lecturer's full name. A bit stupid but this is really funny.
He typed out a whole list of names people wrote in the paper. He's a vietnamese chinese. So the name is very vietish. The slide went
Han Huynh Vin, Hunh Van Hunh, Hun Van vin .............
.......TRANSITION METAL CHEMISTRY .......
............Han VAN GOGH ................
He started reading the words. He has this really nice accent and when he did that, some of the names sounded really funny like some hokkien or teochew name. All of us laughed to tears. IT'S SO FUNNY.
He had a disclaimer before all this saying it's not to humiliate us. So ya.
WAHAHA. laugh lei.
blessed by Father; wHeE
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Decided that it's pretty good to have my thoughts sort out instead of allowing them to cloud my brains.
Sunday
Went for Sheila's birthday celebration on Sunday. It was a simple meal with her parents and her another friend at her place in Hougang. She attempted to cook for us for the first time in her life. Her sis was as funny as usual. The family sabo-ed her to give thanks for the food. Her sis went, "you need ask for blessing for the food you cook just in case" When she was giving thanks, she cried.
I suddenly realise that she's an emotional person after all. Yet, I remember in the midst of her cryings in the past, it never hindered nor affected her to finish whatever work she needs to accomplish. I'm amazed.
After the meal, she sms-ed me. She shared sthg over the sms which caused me to think and remember how amazing our God is. I was wondering what to get for her, so I bought her a voucher from giordano and she happens to really need tops. So she said via sms: It's amazing how God puts things into our heads to make things work out wonderfully. Like the meal and my gift. =)
Monday green
Yesterday, jap tutorial. Thankful to Father for providing 2 wonderful friends who have lunch with me every week after tutorial. Tho ytd I culdn't as I had to rush off for tuition. Then was meeting with the fish n' sheep ppl and cell ldrs' mtg. I'm refreshed by the process and things which happened before the meeting. I realize one can grow even by sitting in meetings. I learn to talk in a manner which is loving and tactful yet honest and truthful so that it helps the ministry. Am still learning tho. Then I hitched the ride on uncle fred's car. I yearn to reach home earlier, best before 11 these days. Cars and taxis are some means which I think of. Taking such transports are not as tiring as buses and mrts.
Things are getting better this week. Waking up early and I get things done quick. If not for the Lord, I'm quite sure I'd just continue in my stress and problems, and I'd whine and cry.
I started the day today by jumping out of bed. Which was good. Things start to become a bit horrible as the day unfolds. See certain people whom I didn't really want to see (shan't say why here) and etc. I guess, the Lord's teaching me to not dwell on certain things too much. They are too bad for my brains, my heart and my energy. I shld focus more on being nice and doing what's pleasing to Him instead of doing what I feel like.
Honestly, I wasn't thinking of doing this just now. Was just so upset that I'd want to just run away from the problem and do things the way I want. I guess was partly to save my own face and comfort too.
This (blogging) is good, it's making me think of what's the good thing that I shld be doing.
Back to point. I was trying to be spiteful and thinking of doing whatever things to get back. I guess I was hurt. Not only by the person but also by my own expectations of the person. Was I prepared to love the person as the person is? I wasn't. And I found no motivation nor energy to really do what's best for the person (recalling that love is an intelligent(mind) willingness(heart) to do(will) what is best for the person)
Am glad how the twist of events in the day shifted my attention towards this whole issue. Saw LF at the arts bus-stop. I think our conversation was really stupid. "WHAT are you doing here?" That was one. haha.. The joy of helping my kid understand his chemistry concepts and knowing I was of use was another. Seeing potato salad appear in starbucks was third. Appearing at suying's to get my jap proj photo out was fourth.
I hope i'm not getting too emotional.
Kz, back to work.
blessed by Father; wHeE
Saturday, October 06, 2007
An eventful day.
Always tried to reflect my life for the past one week before service, since the day yunching laoshi taught us that's what we're supposed to do before gg for service.
I realise, if God were to judge me just this past one week, I'd fail utterly.
Faithfulness in time, responsibilities = FAIL
Diligence = FAIL
Glaring at people and cursing them in my heart= PASS
Till now, I'm still very mad at someone for being so childish, ignorant and irresponsible. I shan't say who. But I guess, I should learn
1) To take accusations better
2) To treat people nicer especially those who's made me upset. (As Sheila reminded, you can't control their actions, but you can control yours. Argh. Thorn in the flesh)
3) To understand God's love especially during times when I find that I'm disadvantaged and I just want every other people to SUFFER
It's so hard. Was sharing with Aiming about entrusting ourselves to God, but it's so easy to just depend on our own effort and try very hard to get the results I want. Hrmph.
Also, I need to flee from temptations. TV's been my excuse for releasing stress. I should run more quickly to God.
On a brighter note, someone's appreciation for a gift made me really happy too. I guess, it's indeed more happening if I set my expectations lower. Was thinking in my heart if the person would like it, but the positive response made my day. =)
Am thankful also that God used me to speak to the crowd. I hope they are challenged to really do what was reminded today.
Helping Eunice with organic chemistry was so exciting especially with her screams and shrieks.
Ohs, every week I'd see a different familiar face at BSF. Last week was Huiming, this week was Eric. Interesting.
Kays, resolution this week
1) Run faster to God
2) Read more of the new testament outside my quiet time especially the commentaries. (Realised the commentary I goped from Chris helped me alot to appreciate the word of God)
3) FLEE from TV (yet must go home earlier and more regularly. ARGHED)
4) Continual struggle to recognize my powerlessness and depend on Him
Lastly, thanksgiving for friday. Didn't know how I survive it with 3 tests and 1 skit ( that was prepared only the day before) in 7 hours back to back without a break. Things weren't as scary as I thought. Should also learn to take things more lightly, (yet not so lightly like I did in the very very past that I didn't care. ARGHED-another paradox)
Past ~ weeks of quiet time verse: Every good and perfect gift is from above.
Last one (TRULY): Was going to take 180 to church. Saw a trans island bus at the other side of the (semi-circle shaped) terminal when I was going to cross the croad. because 180 is a loop service, it'd continue its service back to bt panjang and hence go to the 180 berth which is at the other side of the terminal. So that meant I'd have to hasten my pace.
At the berth, 187 appeared.
My heart went "chey".
THEN 180 appeared,
I went "YAY".
This incident sparked me off thinking: Wow, that's how fast I was to grumble. Was I prepared to trust God for His providence even though ahead lies uncertainty (I didn't know what was going to happen after I saw 187, WHEN was 180 going to APPEAR!)? And tadah, God reminded me:
Every good and perfect gift (trials) is from above.
blessed by Father; wHeE
Monday, October 01, 2007
Checked my email yesterday night. To my horror, I realise I have 3 tests this friday and 1 next friday. 2 of which I knew before the term break. *Gasps
Last week's been a mad rush for ministry stuff. Met people for bible study, projection meeting, cell group meeting, evangelism meeting. Fruitful though.
I think, I have developed a grumbling spirit which I catch it from my mum. Give thanks in all circumstance is an especially difficult command to practice. I need to break the vicious cycle. As Jia Yan reminded from Mr Gn's words, we can do it in the Lord.
Thanksgiving to God for the time after jap tutorial with another friend today. We managed to discuss the gospel. The person didn't make a positive response. But I was allowed to speak what I think. May the Lord guide her to THE truth. =)
Coming up this week
Big group's teaching to plan
CM3222 Organic synthesis test to study (12 lectures to cover)
LAJ2201 Japanese 2 test to study (6 lessons to cover, practice listening, memorise the conversations, memorise the vocabulary list, remember the grammar particles for each sentence)
CM3212 Transition metal test to study (12 lectures to cover)
CM3292 Lab report to finish
BSF homework on Romans 14
May I not fall into the trap of wanting to do well for my own glory especially when time is tight. I shall meditate and remember Col 3:23-24
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Rested enough. Time to work hard.
blessed by Father; wHeE
